Humans are complicated creatures. That’s not my idea; I’ve read it and heard it from many different people and I do agree with it. We carry inside us both good and evil, but which is the stronger force?  I want to believe that the good within us is stronger than the bad, but does history and the world as it is today support this? let’s not go deep or far away like that.

       This subject is taking up a lot of my thoughts lately. I have not found the right answer–well, there are  no right answers, just answers that convince us more than others.  Sometimes people like to close their minds by believing that their idea is correct and the other person is wrong. As for me, I keep thinking about the same ideas until I become sick of them-haha. 

         Of course sometimes it’s better to not think at all, even though that may be the hardest thing to do. But, as I said, we are complicated, so I don’t stop thinking because I feel overwhelmed by the complexity. Instead, I read a lot about it and think: “Hmm, what If I solve this matter that no one has solved before?” Haha.

           Ok, let’s start from the beginning. This idea started bothering me when I was out of work and desperately trying to find something to fill my time with, even stuff I don’t usually like. I started watching a lot of TV shows.  Two shows that made an impact on me were “Revolution” and “The Walking Dead.” I thought: “Oh, are we really like this? Is the monster inside of us stronger than our humanity? Is our humanity just a lie?”, or we just talk about it when we do not have anything els to deal with!, but when it comes to the realty and we are facing the real deal, we go back to the nature of things “surviving” and we become animals?. 

             It shocked me how much people could be monsters, even in their imagination. I  saw 3 seasons of “The Walking Dead”. I broke down crying in one scene where people who were trying to survive passed by a man running and calling for help. They only thought about themselves and didn’t stop to help him. On the way back they saw the remains of his body, the Zombies had eaten him. I never stopped thinking about this scene. Maybe to some people this is just a TV show, but from my point of view it has strong messages that affect our minds. We all know how much power the media has over us. The ideas and violence we see on TV go into our minds until we actually accept them. 

            Basically, these TV shows are saying that the material world of our civilization is connected to our humanity. The message is that as we lose our technology, we lose our humanity. As the seasons progress, and the characters become further removed from civilization, they stop acting human. they forgot who to care about each other, everyone just thinking about surviving even if that means they will kill everyday to survive, they show us that even children could kill. 

          The message sent to young people is that they are nothing without the material civilization. This made me think: “Is it true?” I’m just asking questions. I really have no clear answers. I was thinking about all of this and then I saw the movie “Lucy”, which added more questions for me. What if we invented something–pills or anything else–that would increase our power.  What would happen? Would the good side in us win or the bad side?. And again is our humanity tied to this inventions?.  Continue Reading

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Sometimes I forget to be thankful for what I have or what I have accomplished in my career. I always look for perfection, I barely accept anything from myself. It might be good to push yourself sometimes and that is why I could push myself to do as much as possible with the best quality, but on the other hand that causes me to not appreciate the level I reach. Or it stops me from doing work at all because I feel like it is not good enough to send or post.

       I admit that I’m hard on myself and that I do not see what I have and my strengths. It might not be that much for other people who are different than me when it comes to priorities, but I’m thankful that I chose to be a writer and a journalist. I will always be a writer. This is who I am even if I like other careers, but I won’t change that any day.

      I’m going to treat myself differently and focus on what I can do. I’ll give myself a break from the pressure of perfection that I’m always looking for. There is no such thing as perfection, there is only “the best I can do” and “the most quality I can give”.

       I know it’s going to be hard to change my ways after all these years of striving for perfection, but it’s not impossible. I can start from today and continue every single day to try my best. I was thinking a lot and I realize that I love being a writer and journalist. I should say Hamdu le Allah and be thankful for my job.

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Dear friends  …  

          Sometimes people need to talk, just to talk, not to get any advice. Sometimes thinking out loud with another person is way easier than thinking alone. We need to know when someone chooses to show us his her weakness or open up their box of secrets and talk. We need to realize it’s probably very hard for that person. No one wants to look like a loser or a weak person, or to look like someone who another person takes advantage of. But the exhaustion of thinking alone pushes some people to talk with their friends. So you have to be sensitive and know that shutting your mouth is better than saying stupid things.

        Saying something like, “Oh ok, all that you need to do is forget that to move on,” is the most stupid thing you will ever say. It is wrong to ask someone to “forget.” If that person was able to forget, do you think that heshe will ever show you hisher broken heart?

         And who said that forgetting is the solution? We always remember everything we have been through. Whenever you come across something that reminds you of those memories, the pain and hurt will come alive again; it means you have not healed. There is NO “rest in peace” for our experiences, memories and pain. Especially when everyone around us is trying to make us feel bad about our reaction to a bad experience. When we do not cry enough or express our sadness enough, it will remain inside us and hunt us for the rest of our life.

          Everyone should know that it is ok to cry whenever we feel like crying. It is ok to be depressed whenever we need to be. It’s not a big deal to lock yourself inside your room for a while or eat too much and not care about how you look. Do not ever feel bad about looking like shit for awhile. It is natural and part of the solution.

          We have to remember everything, we should remember every single bad memory because moving on is not about forgetting anything. It is about remembering everything and just not caring about it anymore. This will happen when you do what you feel like doing whenever you want to in order to heal from that experience. When you remember what you felt, you will never make the same mistake again–unless you are stupid and never learn from your mistakes-. Remembering will make you avoid any memory attack-that is the hardest part.

          People please do not give anyone advice that happens to jump inside your head while you are listening to some broken person talk. Take a deep breath and swallow your words. Listening is the best thing you can do for a broken hearted person. The most important thing is to make that person know there is someone who cares.

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